Monday, 30 July 2012

Champix & Me - I lost count of the days...

I thought I would do a small update as to how I'm getting on with the Champix and quitting smoking.

The good news is - I've quit!

The bad news is I'm as sick as a dog. Honestly, sometimes I feel like I should be put down. The nausea I'm experiencing at the moment due to the tablets it's ridiculous. I'm so close to just stopping taking them altogether but I don't want to end up smoking again.

I would hope that I would have enough will power not to slip back into my old habits, but I'm not willing to risk it. I'd feel like such a failure if I started smoking again and I really don't want to. I guess I'm just going to have to suck it up and deal with the sickness.

As of today, I have been quit for 12 days! Very nearly 2 weeks. I really am proud of myself, it's not something I ever thought I would achieve. I've always told myself I would quit when I was ready, whether it be now or in the future, but I never really believed it. I honestly thought I'd be smoking forever. 

In all fairness if I had a little bit more confidence in myself then I'd have probably quit years ago. I'm only 22 and have smoked for 8 years, it's awful. My main reason for quitting is because I don't want Princess to start. Realistically I know that if she's going to smoke, then she's going to smoke, but at least this way I know that I won't have influenced her into that decision. If anything my experience of it will hopefully put her off. 

A short and sweet post from me today, I don't have much more to add. I'm proud of myself and I only hope I can keep it up.

Sunday, 29 July 2012

Pretty.Little.Things - Water Babies

I'm a little bit late with my post this week for pretty.little.things, but better late than never right?

Since Princess was just a few days old, she has been a water baby. Whether it be in the bath, the swimming pool, paddling pool or a puddle, if there's water, she's there! She's never been afraid to get wet and is always the first one to jump in the pool or run through the hose pipe. This was most recently demonstrated by her mad dash through the fountains in town. Unfortunately I was too busy chasing her to get a good picture so I thought I would use a different one instead.

I love this picture because it shows just how mischievous she can be, especially when there's water involved. It was also her first time wearing her adorable Peppa Pig costume! 

I'm linking up with Vikki over at lovefrommummy for this weeks pretty.little.things. Feel free to pop over and join in yourself. We all love to see the pictures every week. I know I will be!

Thursday, 26 July 2012

Book VS Film - Dear John

Typically, I love a good love story. I love happy endings and I like it when everything works out.

That's usually why I read chick-lit. Despite this, I absolutely adore Nicholas Sparks. He is by far my favourite male author. He has an amazing way with words and every one of his stories appeals to me in some way or another. Not all of his stories have the typical 'happy ending', but you're always left satisfied with the way the story has ended.

This is true of Dear John, the most recent Sparks book I have read. I recorded it on TV ready to watch after I had read the book (because I cannot watch a film without reading the book first, I don't know why it's just habit). I got through the book fairly quickly, and whilst it wasn't one of my favourites, I still enjoyed it. Finally, a week later, with a rare evening to myself, I decided to watch the film version.

If any of you reading this are followers on Twitter, you may have been witness to my recent comments. I apologise now for the foul language! I couldn't have been more disappointed. 

Those who know me will know how much I despise the film Twilight, simply because of the lack of details in the film compared to the book. Half of the stuff in the book doesn't even appear in the film, and most of the scenes in the film didn't appear in the book. I mean, where on earth did the school trip come from? And climbing up trees? Say what? I didn't understand why they would leave original parts of a story out and replace it with their own?

Watching Dear John I was in for a big shock. Not only did they leave vital parts of the story out, but they changed massive parts of it, including the characters. Don't get me wrong, the story line is pretty much the same, but the rest of it is made up. If that had been my story depicted into a film, I would have sued. Well, I would have refused at least. 

For one, Savannah is brunette. They make a point of that in the book. Yet in the film, she is blonde. That didn't bother me so much, especially since I actually like Amanda Seyfriend. 
Ten minutes into the film, you're already half way through the book. They leave out everything about Johns past. They leave out the difficult relationship he has with his Dad. They do mention it eventually, but not until over halfway through the film when it's not really important anymore. 
In the book, Savannah has a best friend called Tim. John knows Tim is in love with Savannah but they become friends anyway. Fair enough in the film, this is true. What changes is Alan. In the book, Alan is Tim's little brother who suffers with autism. In the film, they have changed this completely and have made Alan Tim's son. 
Why would they change it? What is the point? Especially when it ends up changing another vital part of the story. 

Photo Credit


The main plot of the book is this:
John is on leave from the army for 2 weeks. He meets Savannah and they fall in love. He goes back to the army for 12 months and they write to each other all of the time (Hence the Dear John). John comes back and they spend another 2 weeks together, but they argue a lot because Savannah has a life now with University and friends etc. John goes back into the army and is due to leave in 6 months. However, the 9/11 happens and John feels he needs to sign up for another 2 years. During that time he gets sent home because his Dad has a heart attack. He see's Savannah in the hospital and they're a bit distant. John's Dad is fine and he goes back to the Army. At some point Savannah sends him a letter telling him she has fallen in love with someone else and she is very sorry. John's Dad has another heart attack so he is once again sent home to look after him, but unfortunately he dies. John returns to the army and continues to relist until eventually he returns home. He goes to see Savannah which is when he realises it is Tim she has married. Tim's parents died in a car crash and during that time they fell in love. (They had been neighbours since they were children so knew each other well for years. This is also why I didn't understand why they changed Alan into Tim's son). Nothing happens between Savannah and John, and he soon learns Tim is in hospital with lymphoma cancer and is in desperate need of treatment that the insurance won't pay for. After John leaves Savannah, he sells his Dads coin collection and donates the money anonymously for Tims cancer treatment. Tim lives and John and Savannah never see each other again.

The film goes absolutely nothing like this. In the film John only has one leave from the army and that is when he first meets her. The next time he see's her is when he is given a weekend off before they all re-enlist to fight the war caused by the 9/11 attack. It leaves out the visit when they become distant. It leaves out the heart attack Johns Dad has. All it has is the letter Savannah writes him during his first year that she has fallen in love with someone else. After that, Johns Dad dies. Of a stroke. I mean, what the hell!? Savannah has no idea and John goes back to the army until he comes out years later and goes to see Savannah. This is where he learns about Tims cancer. (This is apparently why Savannah married Tim because there was no one else to look after Alan? What now!? She fell in love with him because he had cancer? Okay) In all fairness, in the film John still sells his Dads coin collection, but do you know what annoys me the most?

Tim dies.

Yes, I was so angry with this fact that I decided to blog about it. This won't be my best blog post and it's a very irrational one at that, but I was infuriated. It seems like something silly to get angry over, but I don't understand why they would change some of the most important parts of a book?
Why make it into a film in the first place if you don't want to follow the story!? And why on earth did Nicholas Sparks even agree to this? It completely destroyed it for me, I didn't enjoy the film in the slightest. As a big fan of Channing Tatum I was disappointed. Not by him, he played a great John and it's not exactly the actors faults that the film they happened to appear in was a complete rip-off, but not even he couldn't save it for me.

The same thing happens in My Sisters Keeper. I read the book and absolutely sobbed at the end. I watched the film and yes I cried, but WHY would you change the character who died? In the book, it is the younger sister who has just won the rights to her own body who dies in a car crash. In the film it is the sister with cancer who dies. 
Can someone explain to me what the point in changing that was? It was confusing and strange.

The whole idea of Dear John was about the huge sacrifices that John made. He sacrificed his love for Savannah in order to save Tims life. He cared more about her happiness than his own and willingly gave everything he had to ensure her and Tim could have a life together. It didn't come across this way in the film because he knew that Tim would never live, so the whole moral has gone. 

I do realise I shouldn't be worked up over something so small, but it definitely got to me. I am sick of books I have enjoyed being ruined by the film adaptations. 

In future, if I read a book and it is later made into a film, I will not be watching it.

Friday, 20 July 2012

Pretty.Little.Things - Coming Home Outfit

Last week I took part in my very first Pretty.Little.Things post and ended up winning for the best picture(s)! Here is my badge that I so proudly want to display! Thank you to Vikki and Lisa for choosing us

This weeks Pretty.Little.Things theme is Coming Home Outfit. I've had my picture picked out since last week, so here it is:

Princess was only 6lb 2oz when born, despite being told regularly she was going to be over 8lb. Because of this, every item in my hospital bag was full of newborn and 0-3month clothes. Nothing fit her. Everything we tried on she swam in, sleeves and legs were too long and she looked lost. Thankfully Ross's Mum went out and bought us a whole load of tiny baby clothes which fitted her much better. 
I adored this sleepsuit from the moment I saw it and knew she'd be coming home in it. The mittens are far too big as we struggled to find any small enough to stay on her tiny hands. I have a picture of her in the car seat ready to leave the hospital room but we'd swaddled her in blankets so the only thing visible was her tiny little face. This picture shows her first time in her moses basket having a good old wriggle - and getting tangled in her sleepsuit!

Make sure you link up with Lisa over at Hollybobs so you can check out everyone elses posts this week. I know I will be.

Wednesday, 18 July 2012

Thought of the day

Never was a truer word said. 

I often wonder, what was I doing with my life before Princess came along. I found a job, finished sixth form and carried on working. I moved in with Ross and that was it. We both worked, spent evenings together and then went to bed to carry on the routine again the next day. I can honestly hand on heart say that I don't know what the point in my life was before Princess came along. She has taught me so much and I could not be more in awe of her. 

Whilst I have spent the last 21 months teaching Princess how to crawl, walk and talk she has been teaching me how to be more patient, more kind and how to communicate in new ways.

Most importantly, she has taught me how to love completely and unconditionally.

To me, that is what life is all about.

Friday, 13 July 2012

Pretty.Little.Things - Brilliant Brights

This week I have decided to take part in Pretty.Little.Things hosted by Vikki over at Love From Mummy. I haven't really taken part in any blog hops since I started blogging earlier this year. I've always watched and admired from afar. Well like I said in my first post, no more lurking! No more hiding from me. From now on, I'm in the game!

This weeks theme for Pretty.Little.Things is Brilliant Brights.

I will fully admit that I am guilty of dressing my Princess in lots of pink colours. In fact, inside her wardrobe I would say 90% of her clothes are different shades of pink. Including her actual wardrobe. However, there aren't many pink clothes out there that are bright. There's nothing that really pops and catches your attention and makes you think "phwoar that's bright!". Incidentally because of this I actually struggled to find a picture to fit in with this weeks topic.

Trust me to pick now to join in (haha!)

However, this is what I have come up with, my Princess in her Brilliant Brights!

True to form, there is pink in each of these photos. (Ignore the chocolate stain in no. 3!) Not all of them are quite as bright as I can imagine some peoples pictures will be, but it's the best I can do. I realise the first picture isn't particuarly bright, however on closer inspection the blue top is infact really bright when seen in real life. It's also one of my favourites. 

So there you have it, my first contribution to Pretty.Little.Things. I plan on taking part every week from now, so if you see me slacking, call me up on it. It's open for everyone and anyone to take part if you so wish, and I happen to know they both love new people to take part.

Make sure you hop on over to Hollybobb's who will be hosting next week to join in and link up. The theme will be Coming Home Outfit. I already have my picture picked out!

Wednesday, 11 July 2012

Champix No Smoking and Me... Day 13

Firstly I want to apologise for my lack of posts recently. There isn't actually a real reason for this but I just haven't got around to coming online. Nothing much exciting has happened so I will just update you on my no smoking, or attempted no smoking.

Before I start I will fully admit that I have cheated.

My quit date was in fact yesterday, July 10th, 12 days into my tablets. However yesterday I caved and had 3 cigarettes and today I've had 2.

In all fairness though, that is bloody fantastic for me. I'm usually a smoker of 15-20 a day so to cut down that much is amazing. I don't even know how I've done it either, it's beyond me.
Whilst I don't completely get on with the Champix tablets, I have to admit they work. I'm not even sure how. Somehow though, I have begun to think about them less. My cravings only usually come after I've eaten (which they always have) and when I do have a cigarette, half way through I realise I don't want it.

I think a lot of it has to do with the nausea. I'm not just talking 'ew I feel a bit sick' I'm talking full on, run to the bathroom, get the fuck out of my way, I'm about to vomit kind of nausea. Except you never do. There's never any real sickness, just the feel of it in your stomach. I'm also amazed at how quickly it kicks in. With every tablet I've ever taken there's usually a certain period of time you have to wait for the effects to take place, e.g; paracetamol, decongestants etc. Not with Champix, oh no. You take your tablet and instantaneously you feel ready to barf.

As disgusting and unappealing as this sounds, it's ridiculously helpful. I take 1 tablet in the morning and 1 tablet at night meaning I feel far too sick to have my usual morning and bedtime cigarette. Just the thought of it makes me heave and Ross is quickly kicked into the back garden. I've had to start eating gingernuts to calm my queasy stomach and whilst they help, I can't help but think, surely by eating when I'm wanting a cigarette is defeating the object? I don't want to quit smoking, save all of this extra money, only to become morbidly obese because I've scoffed away my cravings and have to spend the saved money on a gym membership. No, no I don't.

Ross has been doing really well too. He's not quitting yet, but he has cut down a hell of a lot. He's decided to quit once his holiday from work starts because then he won't have to deal with missing a 'fag break' because that would unfortunately make him crave one more. I know exactly how he feels, when I was at work I used to live for my fag breaks. I'd count the hours, minutes before I could go for one. It was the best way to break up the working day. He breaks up from work this week so should hopefully be starting the tablets next week! He's not looking forward to it though, he's seen my face turn green every night after taking my tablet so he knows the effect it's going to have.

Also I hate to do this because I hate preachers with a passion, but you have no idea how much a smoker smells, until you haven't smoked. From the moment I woke up I went nine hours without having a cigarette. I went to the shop (not to get chocolate) and walked past quite a few smokers. I have to admit that the smell was vile. I don't know if right now I'm just more aware of it because I'm trying to quit, but I had to move away. If that's how I smell when I smoke then that's enough reason to quit on it's own. I know smokers hate to hear that they smell, I know it used to annoy me more than anything else, but it's honestly true. You stink. Trust me, I'm a smoker.

Overall I'm pleased with my progress. My Doctor told me to pick a day within the first two weeks of tablets as a quit date. After reading through the leaflet I discovered that you can in fact choose a day within the first five weeks, so I feel better for that. I think the fact that I felt pressured into not having one (by myself I might add) that it made me want one more. In future I will be asking Ross to take all forms of tobacco out of the house so I don't have the temptation. I'm very unlikely to go out of the house and buy a pack just to drive off a craving. I'll just have a chocolate bar instead. 

In fact the only way I have been able to get past my cravings without giving in, is to read. I've gotten through so many books recently I can't actually keep up. I suppose I get lost in the story and completely forget that I wanted to smoke. In hindsight it's a very healthy way to do it, I'd rather read a book a day then put on a lb a day. At the moment I'm very into reading Catherine Ryan Hyde books. If you enjoy Jodi Picoult then more than likely you will like these too. My next one is Dear John by Nicholas Sparks. I have the film on my Sky Planner, but true to fashion I have to read the book before I watch the film. Sparks never fails to disappoint, and let's be fair, neither does Channing Tatum.

Which reminds me, who wants to see Magic Mike?